Dealing With Disagreement

Being Exemplary Through Reacting to Disagreement

We all get into disagreements.

We get that feeling of the need to prove ourselves.

This is a weak point for lots of Christians, even when discussing Christian matters.

So how do we combat it?

Don’t Rush Into Argument

First off, the Bible really clearly says what to do in a matter of a few short words:

Proverbs 17:14

“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”(NIV)

If you are caught in a disagreement with a fellow brother or sister, don’t always assume you’re able to come to terms with the matter on your own. If the problem can’t be solved between the two of you, ask the advice of someone wiser, who you respect.

Proverbs 13:10

“Pride only breeds quarrels,

but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” (NIV)

We’re also presented the consequence of arguing with another:

Galatians 6:7-8

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” (NIV)

It often feels like a blow to one’s pride, backing off from arguing, but:

Proverbs 20:3 (NIV)

“It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”

Don’t Argue For the Sake of Your Pride

Philippians 2:3-4

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” (NKJV)

When you get into an argument, you know you’re the right one, you feel it.

But regardless of who’s side is more accurate, no battle will be won with just sharp words. Trying to show someone the “truth” could only lead to more destruction if you’re only doing it because you’re bent on being right.

Proverbs 18:19

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” (KJV)

Keep in mind that the Father knows what you’re doing, even if the one you’re arguing with doesn’t:

Proverbs 3:34

New King James Version (NKJV)

34 Surely He scorns the scornful,

     But gives grace to the humble.

Don’t stand up for yourself- let God and the Scriptures do that.

1 Peter 5:6 -7

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.

Keep the focus on God

Realize it’s not your place to tell them what they believe is wrong (unless it is in concordance with Scripture for you to do so)

Know that it’s ultimately up to God to settle scores, don’t do it on your own.

James 4

10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Micah 6:8

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?” (NKJV)

The Lord doesn’t require you to prove every sinner wrong. Instead:

1 Thess 5 says:

encourage each other and build each other up,

Romans 14:19

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."